Married but alone (Basic training)

Boy was I strug-g-ling!!! Justin left for basic training on July 31, 2019 a little over a month after we got married. I was so excited for him but I knew it was going to be hard! We were on the phone all day before he arrived at Fort Benning, Georgia! The moment he had to put his phone away I cried my eyes out because now the only way we could communicate was through letters! He’s my other half and I didn't know how I was going to be without him! The first week I just stayed home. I didn’t want to go out or do anything because I was so sad and I just missed him so much! I finally told myself I need to get out and distract myself because it wasn’t healthy for me to bury myself in my room! I started to go out with friends and go to coffee shops and go to work! I started to get really, really involved with my church too! I already worked in the nursery at my church so I started to do an internship with the student Ministry! Going to church was pretty hard for me because I was so used to looking to my left and Justin was there worshiping with me! I cried during every service! I would stand there during worship and hold onto the pendant around my neck that Justin gave to me and just sing out to the Lord! It gave me comfort but also made me cry lol! I started my first year of college while we was in basic and that was so hard! While I was driving to my first class I told myself I wasn’t going to cry! But I did lol there was a lot of crying during all of this haha! After I finished my first day and I had to drive back home I was very emotional because I wished I could just call Justin and tell him all about my day and tell him how weird my psychology teacher was!! Moments like that were the hardest! I wrote to him every single day and he did too! I would get so, so excited to get a letter from him! The Army would also post pictures of them and I was so happy to find pictures of him! He was always smiling and it just made me so happy because that’s the type of person he is! He would smile through everything even though it was hard! Everyday got easier and easier! But don’t get me wrong I had my days but my friends, family, and God helped SO much!

October 20-21, 2019

It was family day which means I got to see Justin for two days! Those were the best two days through this whole experience besides his graduation! My mom and I and Justin’s parents all flew out to Georgia! I was so excited to see him and just give him the biggest huge and kiss! Before we got to see him we had to watch a PowerPoint about rules and all that type of stuff! To be real with y’all I did not listen to them at all nor did I care I just wanted to see my husband! Justins best friend, Isaac, also came and I was so excited for Justin to see him! When we were finally allowed to go and see Justin I ran into his arms and guess what... I cried again lol! It was just the best feeling EVER! During those two days we all just hung out and spent time together!! Then it was the last day and Justin had to go back to training! We said see you later and that was really hard because we were so happy to be together again but he had to go. Watching him leave was so hard I wanted to just chase after him and never leave! The morning after on our way to the airport my mom and I were listening to some random Christian radio station and they read the verse Matthew 11:28-39 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I can’t emphasize enough how much this helped me! God new I needed to hear this! I knew after this hardship Justin and I would have rest! Like God came in clutch y’all!! So I wrote immediately when I got home and told Justin all about what I heard on the radio and it turns out Justin read that same exact verse that same day! Y'all God is so good!!!

November 23, 2019

Justin is turning blue which means he is graduating and getting his blue infantry cord! Ahhhh I was so freakin proud and so excited for him! I recorded everything like a mom lol! They had this huge ceremony and a band playing and everything! Justin’s friend, Aaron, also flew in all the way from New York to see him! It was such an exciting day! After the ceremony we got to hang out with him for just a little bit because he had to hop on a bus to the airport to Hawaii (our first duty station)! We followed the bus there since his flight wasn't till late at night and we hung out with him some more! Then he had to get on the plane and guess what I cried again lol! Y’all I just love him so much and didn’t know when I’d get to be with him again! About a month later Justin came home for Christmas and we just spent a lot of time with family and friends! Then we both flew out to Hawaii! The reason I didn't go to Hawaii right always was because Justin had to do a lot of paper for our house on base and a bunch of other paper work for me to go there! I’m just so happy to finally be with him again and so grateful for the experience because I learned so much! I learned that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was even in the mist of all the tears! Writing to Justin became very therapeutic for me! I even made some vlogs and it was like I was talking to him! I don’t think I will share them because they are very personal and vulnerable! Overall, I'm grateful that I went through all of that because not only did I grow as a person but like I said earlier, I learned a lot!

If your loved one is going off to basic training/military or is already in basic training/military I just want to let you know it does get easier! Some days are going to be hard but you will get through it! Distract yourself in a positive way and it’s ok to reach out for help! You are going to learn and grow a lot from this I promise! Just keep your head up! <3